Monday, May 21, 2012

Story Time

I have a story... but first I have to tell another story so you can get the full understanding of this story. In order to provide some privacy I will change the name of a person in the first story. We will call her Kara.... Kara Lark. :)
So Kara was my absolute best friend and we did everything together. We were even in the same 6th grade class and somehow we pulled off sitting next to each other at our 6th grade "graduation". Well the Mayor had been invited to our graduation. The Mayor, Mayor Ash was  a rather large man and really didn't appear all that important to us 6th graders. The person who was conducting the ceremonies was up at the microphone going on and on about how excited and honored we should be that Mayor Ash had graced us with his presence. "And now, lets give a big hand for our Mayor! Mayor Ash!"..... Kara leaned over to me "Yeah" she said "Mayor Fat Ash"
I lost all control.  The giggling began and I couldn't stop it. You see... Kara NEVER said anything even remotely like this. She was quiet and respectful to everyone. In fact... in all honesty I was a really good kid myself but when I was next to her, everyone saw me as a bad influence. I COULD NOT believe this came out of her mouth "Mayor Fat Ash" and I have never forgotten it.
Flash forward to a few days ago. May 17th 2012. Andrew was entertaining a couple of guys that had come in town from Texas for a work conference. He was taking them out to dinner at a fancy smancy restaurant  and I got to go along! I have never eaten at a place like this before. My one little tiny steak cost $45 and that didn't even include the salad, the drink, the really weird appetizers or my dessert. If Im being totally honest, it seemed like a huge waste of money to me but since we didn't have to pay for it... I was definitely game. We ate, we chatted, and I was pleasantly surprised to find that these men were really quite hilarious. At times I wasn't sure if they were actually trying to be funny or not but they were none the less. The one (Zack) explained that the mountains were kind of "ominous" and that the only thing that came to mind while driving through Provo canyon was Jurassic Park. A few minutes later Andrew was having a little conversation with the other man in our party but I could hear Zack in the back ground very softly humming the Jurassic Park theme song.
After our main course was finished the waiter brought out the dessert menu. Zack decided to try the "Beautiful cheeses" for his dessert. They brought out a plate full of all kinds of cheese... most of which I would never want to taste. He took a tiny little bite of one white cheese that had a little grayish line in the middle of it. He was less than pleased with the taste. He asked the waiter what the grey line was and he explained to us that when they make that particular cheese what they do is they milk the cow in the morning and lay out the cheese to age but then they cover it with a layer of ash to kind of protect it and then when they milk the cow in the evening they put the next layer over the top of the ash. So essentially, the grey line is ash. So Zack decided he was going to pass a little bit of this cheese around for others at our table to try. I was sitting next to the wife of one of Andrews co-workers and her husband was of course on her other side. He took a little bite and let it sit in his mouth in order to get the full effect of the cheese, I suppose. His wife tipped her head to the side and said "well??? does it taste like ash?" Again... I lost all control. The giggling would not stop. Especially with everyone else talking about "ash cheese"
I know, its SO inappropriate. But after Kara's "Mayor Fat Ash" comment all those years ago, thats all I could think of. I sat with my napkin over my face, laughing hysterically with tears literally streaming down my face in a restaurant where a single meal cost more that a weeks worth of groceries for my family for probably 5 minutes, all because someone asked if the cheese tasted like ash. Ash cheese... bahahaha!

1 comment:

  1. This Kara Lark sound awesome. She's goin places... Hopefully my mom doesnt read this one :)