It's been one of those days. I woke up with a bad case of pregnant mom today. I was mean, I was grouchy and I was aware of every bit of it. I could not find the strength to shake it off however. As a result, my baby picked up on it and played her part. She was mean, she was grouchy and we both broke down into tears multiple times. I needed help, desperately. Lucky for me my husband is amazing. I had been wanting to go with my mom and my sister to hear Sister Julie Beck (general relief society pres.) speak but I wasn't very hopeful. Andrew has been working insane hours. He didn't get home until after 4 today and was planning on going back at 10pm to work graveyard, only to come home for a few hours and go back again. He needed sleep, badly. With no one to watch AnDee I just didn't think it was going to happen. Andrew, however made his mind up that he was going to make it work and sent me out the door. So here I was, feeling bad for myself and totally irritated and angry about... Well.... Everything. Did I really want to attend this meeting? I was in no mood to feel chastised for my weaknesses. Luckily, Sister Beck is truely inspired. There was not one moment that I felt that she was chastising me. Instead, from the moment she stood I was at peace. The anger was gone. The frustration was gone. Mean pregnant lady was gone and AnDee's mom was back. Every ounce of everything she said inspired and uplifted me.
Now, here I sit in my bed (at a quarter to 11 when I should be sleeping) with my all-too-convenient iPhone, blogging because I can't settle down enough to sleep. I'm just happy. So thank you Andrew and thank you Sister Beck for knowing what I needed
What most stood out from the meeting tonight? Well... Sister Beck opened it up for a bit of a question and answer type of deal. One sister stood and asked how to find herself. She explained that she has been trying to find ways to describe herself without using the words 'mother' or 'wife'. She felt like those things were taking away who SHE was. When sister Beck answered she said "you must never take away 'mother' it is who we are. That is the name we will go by in the eternities. We do not have children because it's a lifestyle. We have children because that is God's plan."
Being a mother has not taken anything away from me and the things it has taken, I can confidently wave goodbye to, knowing that 'mother'' is who I am and what an honor it is.